Fahrenheit Opens

Friday, June 25th, 2004: I was in Rhinebeck to see the opening of Michael Moore’s new film Fahrenheit 9-11, with a friend. There had been a 4:00 PM show which we missed. We arrived well before 7:00 but not only had the 7 PM show sold out but all shows for the day. My friend had gone to park the car, I saw the signs, and went back to the street to look for the car, no car, so I went to get a schedule. I had a twenty in my hand. This bald guy says, I got two tickets for the 7 PM show! A single woman said, “I want it, but I’m only one person!” He says, “I can’t sell just one, I gotta sell two. Who wants two! I wave my twenty and say I want two, I want your tickets. He looked to the movie theater officer who was standing there turning people away, and said “Can I do this? I can’t keep the twenty right?” NO! So he gives me some change, which is short but I don’t even count it cause heck its Michael Moore and I’m going to be a witness to history. Only the second showing (in this town, at the historic Rhinebeck Upstate Theater) on the first day outside of the “screening” theaters from this week. Money is not an issue! So my friend shows up, having parked fifty blocks away, and I say, “Here’s the tickets! I scalped em!” And we went in.

The theater made a special announcement that we would all want to talk about this film, but don’t do it during the movie and don’t do it inside the theater afterwards. Everyone go outside, go to a restaurant, and talk. They had already heard of the reaction crowds have to this movie. Every seat was filled with fannies, and the crowd cheered and clapped at all the best places, but not so you’d miss a word. It was all very clear. There were lots of visual innuendos, but no false statements that I could see. A lot of information some leftists have heard before, but assembled to make a powerful statement. The visual juxtapositions were rather funny and maybe unfair, but he left out other damaging material that would have been justified. He hit the target with pleasing this audience and we all gave the blank screen a standing ovation at the end. We didn’t realize it then, but the next day and the next were reports of sell out crowds in red and blue states, as the film went on to gross $26 million in one weekend. What I love about that stat is that it accomplished this while carrying an R rating and showing only in select theaters, while pundits on every channel were trying to do flood control and poo poo the whole thing as a joke. What will happen next week when it hits 2000 more theaters? (That’s a lot of theaters! That’s 400 per state! They’ll have to stage another terrorist attack! I can see it now—code orange! Islamic militants to invade New York to see Michael Moore’s new film!)

NOTE TO READERS: The previous ten days were ten exciting, thrilling, action packed days full of celebrity gossip and front-line derring do. I have it all on tape which is in a secret storage compartment, and I will transcribe it all for you over the weekend, barring another terrorist attack in which John Ashcroft, dressed in a turban, comes to my door demanding Michael Moore tickets.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: